InSight, by Gloria Duffy
What Fur?
By Dr. Gloria Duffy
President & CEO, The Commonwealth Club of California
July 31, 2023
When I completed my Ph.D. in the 1980s, my mom offered to give me a gift of a fur coat, to recognize my achievement. Having grown up in Denver, where winters were very cold and down was not yet much in use in America for clothing, my mom had a special affinity for fur coats. Her father gave her one when she was young – complete with a fur hat and muff for her hands - and she always had at least one when I was growing up. When I was a child, I loved to snuggle, in the back seat of our car, into my mom’s beige sheared beaver coat. Her warm side and the ultra-soft, fluffy coat gave me a feeling of warmth and security. Later on, mom had an elegant, full-length white mink coat that she wore to the opera, concerts and parties.
She knew the owner of a high-end fur salon, based in Palm Springs, Hillis Furs, which also had a salon in Aspen, Colorado. So, when I was attending a conference at the Aspen Institute in the ‘80s, my mom called her friend at Hillis, and a visit was arranged for me to her salon, to choose a coat I liked as my Ph.D. gift.
I spent an entire day in Aspen trying on fur coats, attended by the staff at Hillis. I had a number of reservations. I thought mink was a little bit dated, and also I didn’t want to pick the most expensive item in the store. I tried on a wild, spotted Lynx coat and many others. But throughout the experience, I became more and more concerned about wearing fur, about the animals that had been raised, killed and their pelts made into fur coats. The Hillis staff members were very patient, and I said nothing about my fur concerns, but I think they thought I was a bit strange.
So I left without choosing a fur, to the bemusement of the staff. I thanked my mom, and told her that I didn’t need an expensive gift, but that if she wanted to give me a gift, a used piano would be something that would give me joy. And then I just let the idea of a gift drift until we both forgot about it. I have never wanted people to spend their money on big gifts for me.
Last year, when my mom passed away, I was searching the internet for photos, newspaper articles and other material about her, preparing for her memorial and to share with friends and family members. I recalled that my mom had told me about attending events and parties at Carolands, the Hillsborough estate, as the guest of the owner, Countess Lillian Remillard Dandini. I had once seen a newspaper article about a party mom had attended there.
I looked for that article, which I didn’t find. But I did find a 1955 film of a charity fundraiser fashion show hosted at Carolands, and lo and behold, there was my mom modeling an elegant, full-length white mink coat. She was in her early 30s, when she was working several jobs in San Francisco to make ends meet. Mom looked so happy in that coat, which must have seemed to her the ultimate in luxury.
Year later, when she could afford it, Gloria Sr. became the proud owner of a white mink coat similar to the one she modeled at Carolands. What a milestone that must have been for her, to own the type of coat she could only borrow to wear, as a young model.
Some years ago, when my mom was in her 80s, she gave me her white mink coat, which she kept all through the years. She noted that she didn’t really go to fancy events anymore, and that the custom-designed Hillis Furs coat already had my name embroidered inside—her name Gloria Duffy was also my name. So her idea of a fur coat for me finally came to fruition, 30 years after that complicated visit to the Hillis Furs salon.
The coat has been in storage in the East Bay, and I have worn it just a couple of times. I still struggle with the concept of wearing the fur of animals raised and killed to make apparel. But after seeing that 1955 film of my mom, I think about how much that white fur coat must have meant to her, and how much she wanted me to have what she thought of as such a significant possession, and that thought alone keeps me warm.
